Finally,
there was one sleep left before our summer holidays. At last, cries of are we
there yet? when we weren’t even in the bloody car could come to an end. But first there were a few pesky little
matters to get out of the way before we set off. My
life is one big list. I have a list of
lists. I have ones in notebooks, ones on
the wall calendar, ones on the computer and ones in my head which always get
forgotten and this is why I need all the other backups. So I consulted my Things To Do Before We Go
On Holidays list. The clutch wasn’t
clutching so in order to put an end to the tiresome need to stop on every
roundabout and pump it furiously to get the car going again, we needed to get
it sorted out. It transpired that it was a slightly more complicated matter
than driving it to the garage and having them wave their magic wand over
it. Under the bonnet and engine was
mentioned along with car out of action for about two days. So we riposted with “grand job. We’ll see you when we come back.” Thankfully Mister Husband was going to be
doing all the driving so we would most likely get there under three hours and
in one piece. I could feel myself
starting to relax already. Are we there
yet? No! The Screecher Creatures were
given a wallet each from their nana with some paper money and lots of loose
change “for the slot machines” and they were made up. But it was time for the hard part: packing. Something that should have taken me an hour
was running into its third hour. The
rocking chair was groaning under the weight of all the bed linen and towels we
needed to bring. I had to go in search
of a third bag for Mister Husband to use and I still hadn’t packed swimming
gear, my clothes or the obligatory rain gear.
There were two boxes filled with nonperishable foodstuffs, two cooler
boxes waiting patiently to house dairy produce, an empty box for shoes and
welly boots, another on the kitchen counter containing cleaning products and we
still had to pack the travel cot. And the football. And the buckets and spades. I had visions of the two smallest boys
sitting, strapped onto the roof of the car.
The morning of our departure actually dawned bright and promising. Are
we there yet? No! But at least we were getting closer. We enjoyed our usual Saturday morning
breakfast in town, picked up a few last minute provisions and then went home. The lads didn’t want to get out of the car
such was their eagerness to get going so we packed our things in around them,
making sure they could see out and over the mounds of stuff. Then the key was being turned in the ignition
and at long last, after a month of nightly countdowns, we were on our way. Talks
of basking sharks and jellyfish were the order of the day on the trip to the
seaside. Screecher Creature No. 3 hadn’t
a clue what holiday actually meant, and kept asking were we at holidays
yet? A small row broke out over bunk bed
rights but the threat of turning round and going straight back home again,
ended it quickly. Driving and talking
about holidays is hungry work so we stopped off in Bunclody for some potted
muscles and herring in case we get famished before dinner. Oh wait, that’s Van Morrison. We found a deceptively decent looking pub in
the town and went in to order what looked and smelt like a very tasty dinner
indeed. Alas, an hour later, with still
no sign of our lunch and the demented cries of “are we nearly there yet” changing
to “when are we getting our dinner?” saw four hungry kids and two pissed off
big people, leaving the premises. It was
only chicken nuggets and chips for the kids and a club sandwich for Mister
Husband. Maybe they had gone out on the boat to catch my fillet of haddock
order. But no matter, I’m sure if we
stopped off on the way home it would be ready for us. Forty
minutes later, “are we there yet?” was answered with “here we are!” Relieved and hugely excited, we all piled out
and went in to meet the owners and receive the grand tour of our holiday home. Everyone
had a question to ask. “Where is the
beach?” “Do you have broadband?” ”Can we see the bunk beds?” “Where’s the
nearest doctor?” “Can I do my wee’s?” “Is the water safe to drink?” Everyone
discovered their own little gem about the house. “Look! I found Lego under my
bed!” “Look at the view from the sitting room window!” “Hey! There are two
bunk beds!” “OMG, they have black out
blinds!” “Look at the telly!!” “There’s a washing machine and a tumble dryer!” There
was also a small house to be unloaded from the car parked outside. But no matter as one of them contained
several bottles of Pinot Grigio which needed to be put into the fridge
immediately. Are we nearly there
yet? Hell, yes! Let the holiday begin!
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