“Style comes in all
shapes and sizes. Therefore, the bigger
you are, the more style you have” Miss Piggy
Holy school run Batman!
Once upon a time I thought I was busy. I did! The cheek of me! Excuse me a minute till I laugh myself into a
coma. And now for a little cry. Ah, that’s better. Much better. If you recall my weight loss of
last week, where I shed a little over three pounds, I have the school run to
blame/thank for this. The school run and
all that happens in between. C’mere to
me, the person who coined the phrase “the school run” till I beltcha with my
shovel. You’ve never had to do a school
run, have you? Be honest now. I know you haven’t because if you did, you
would know there is nothing even remotely quick about it. So where, I would like to know, does “run” come
into it? Pull up a chair there now and I’ll tell you what my school run
involves. In order to have them in
school on time, which is 8.45am; it means I have to load them into the car at
8.15am. It takes 15 minutes see coz one
of them usually goes missing and I have to find him. Then I have to locate the bloody dog and
persuade her to go back into the damn house.
This is the same creature that refuses to leave the house when the boys are having breakfast. By the time I do this, turn the key in the
front door and get back to the car, the three year old is usually walking
around the back of the car having opened his straps. So I have to buckle him up
again amid loud threats of what the guards won’t do to me if they catch him
like that. It’s 8.30 now and we’re
finally on our way. Once we leave at
precisely 8.30 of a morning, we are fine.
It is a straight run to the school.
Pretty much. But then I have to
get out again and back home. Where I
repeat the above steps at 11.30am to collect the boy who has just started
school. His day finishes at twelve
noon. Back home at about 12.20pm before
I do it a third time for a 2.30pm pick up.
Oh and on Thursdays and Fridays there is a Montessori run as well. I also
have to cook them all something to eat in the middle of this madness. See?
Nothing quick about it. For me
and the other hundreds of parents in the same boat each day. And poor Screecher Creature No. 4 doesn’t
know what’s hit him. As soon as he gets
his head down for a snooze, he’s whipped up out of the cot, flung into his car
seat and off on another drive. The
driver’s seat barely gets a chance to go cold since my arse last sat on it
before it’s time to warm it up again.
The stress of it!! Ten years ago I was supposed to be at the
church at 2pm to get married. It was
1.30pm and there was still no sign of my dress.
I thought that was
stressful. It was the last day of the
summer holidays and the school books which had been ordered six weeks ago were
still in transit. Somewhere. Ok, so the dress arrived as did the school
books but the school runs are going to continue for a long time. This week, or was it last week, I loaded up
the toothbrushes and lined up the lads. I
popped one into my mouth to turn on the tap and just in the nick of time discovered
that I had put Veet on the damn things and not strawberry flavoured
toothpaste. At least my tongue will be
hair free for a week or so. Yes, it was
disgusting. The boys thought it was
hilarious even though they had no idea what they were laughing at. Maybe it was seeing their mother spit all
over the floor when she’s usually roaring at them never to do the same
thing. It’s been mental. It really has. Batch bread (with jam and a smidgen of
Nutella) is responsible for keeping me alive this week. That and copious amounts of coffee. The rest of them have been living on
pancakes, drop scones and waffles courtesy of my new waffle maker from a well-known
German supermarket. Not the healthiest of vittles. I haven’t neglected my running either. I managed to get out most evenings. I did take Wednesday night off. Wednesday may be the “over the hump” part of
the week but I couldn’t even get over the hump.
I had to take to my bed early.
Due to the workload, I’ve been waking up at odd times during the night,
wondering which one of them I’ve left at the school gate, did I make the
lunches to save time, have I turned off the water, what was that noise, have I
something clean to wear in the morning? And guilt. Guilt that they are not involved in any after
school activities. Something that has
been playing on my mind a lot lately. They
are members of a gym club on Saturdays but that’s all. So just to ramp up the mayhem a little bit
and make sure the car seat doesn’t get too cold over the weekends, I have
enrolled them in the local swimming club.
My little frogs will be joining The Frogs this Saturday morning at
10.30am and then off to gym club at 2pm.
Ah well, I live in hope that all the activity over the weekend might
keep them in the bed until 8am on Sunday morning.
August 23rd – eleven stone and three quarters of a pound 30th August - eleven
stone and half a pound.
September 6th -
ten stone eleven and a quarter pounds
September 13th – ten stone eleven and three
quarters of a pound (gained half a pound)
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