My UTI Experience (Not What You Think)

pic credit:  newmobility.com

I’VE GOT a UTI.  And not the one you think either.  I’ve had one or two Urinary Tract Infections in my time but this UTI needs to stop! 

You know that “best text bloopers” where the Mammy tells her son WTF when he passed his exams and he gets all upset?  She thought she was telling him Well That’s Fantastic but of course, in RL (Real Life) she was saying What The Fcuk.

Well I went and got me a UTI. 

Under The Influence.

And I tend to go shopping with my new BFF the UTI.

(No.  I don’t mean Big Fat Fucker.  I mean Best Friend Forever!)

LOL!

(Sorry.  I’ll stop now)

It’s not all bad.  I’m not out of control or anything but lately I have a little tendency to do the shopping thing on line with a glass of wine in my hand. Because, you know, see below.

I don’t go clothes shopping because most times regular clothes in regular shops look fantastic on the hanger. 

Well, I ain’t the hanger so they all go back out onto the shop floor and I end up buying stuff like nail varnishes instead.  Oh and a 75^th eye shadow to add to my collection.

I like make-up.  I turn into a magpie when I am around it.   I. Want. It. All.

So when I spotted a sale on a makeup website I had been meaning to check out, I filled my glass and got comfortable.

I had great fun!  I spent just over €20 (incl P&P) and got loads of stuff.  That should have been my first clue.

Purdy make muck

Last autumn I did something similar on another make-up site.  I will name this one because they are excellent.  I highly recommend Zoeva and their products.  I treated myself to a lovely nude eye shadow palette and some of their rather marvellous make-up brushes.  I may have spent €30 on these.  Eaten bread is soon forgotten.  Spending money on line is a little bit like that too.

Anyway, post and packaging with Zoeva costs €7.50 regardless of your order and they arrived in three days.    

they feel like angels tickling your face!

Sigh.  Just sigh.

Lovely lovely things. 

I liked that UTI experience.

This recent one however, not so much.  The eye shadows are lovely.  I’ll give them that.  And the lip colours in the palette but everything else would go straight into my daughters dress up bag.

If I had a daughter.

And if I didn’t mind looking like my imaginary daughter after she got her hands on mammy’s make-up bag, then fell against the door on her way out.

Do you remember the free lipsticks we used to get sellotaped to the front of those teenage magazines?

   

This is what arrived in the post today.

Doesn't do exactly as it says on the tin!

Trés disappointed.

The only consolation is they cost me practically nothing.   

P.S.  For someone who will show you how to apply makeup properly, check out Sharon the Makeup Artist on YouTube.  (I think I love her!)   Better than a side of Pringles with a glass of wine on Friday nights!

pic credit:  sharon the makeup artist