5 Reasons Why Monday Can Suck

YEAH, SO MONDAY isn’t known for its sense of humour.  And I’m well aware there are more than five reasons why it can suck.  In fact there are probably five hundred and fifty five reasons why Monday can suck but I would like you to stick around to the end so I’m keeping it to five.  Also it’s Monday and I don’t want to really piss on your day.

Here are my five reasons why Monday can suck. 

Because it can.  Particularly if you’ve had a nice weekend, Monday can seem all the harder.  Nice can cover a multitude of things depending on what you’re into.  It may have been a restful weekend with everyone spending Sunday in their jammies and getting take-outs.  There might have been a nice family gathering.  Possibly a rare night out with a meal and a few drinks.  Doesn’t matter, all of the bon homie is wiped with the arrival of Monday and the dawning of the rest of the week.

Oh no you didn’t!  But of course you did.  Empty the bottle of wine, that is.  And maybe open another.  Yes, it was a great idea at the time but wine is a bit like a tub of Pringles; once you pop you can’t stop.  Or in this case, once you pour you want more. There’s nothing like a hangover of any description to kick start Monday morning.       

It’s still winter/spring.  Which is lovely and all but similar to when there’s too much month left at the end of the money, there is still too much winter left at the start of February.  Daffodils may be flowering, snowdrops too.  Even with that noticeable stretch in the evenings, mornings are still pitch black and no-one wants to get out of bed when it’s like this.  Especially on Monday.  Particularly on Monday.

Everyone is tired.  Regardless of the weekend and what went on, it is an unwritten rule that one shalt be bolloxed on Monday morning.  You’re up and walking around, true, but you’re also putting hair removal cream on your toothbrush instead of toothpaste and three sips into your coffee you realise it’s fekin Bisto and not coffee granules.  It will be at least eleven o’clock before your head catches up with your body.  At least. As for the kids.  I won’t draw pictures but you know what I mean.

You have to cook.  Due to the take-out pizzas over the weekend and the oven chips and nuggets dinner on Saturday, some type of vegetable and protein needs to appear in order to avoid scurvy and rickets.  In fact it is necessary to force yourself into doing a bit of housework in general.  Those bathrooms will not clean themselves and if the kids want socks and underwear for the rest of the week, the laundry really should be sorted out.

There’s no denying Monday gets really bad press but the good thing is it only lasts for 24 little hours.  And if you’re really very exceptionally lucky you might be asleep for nine of those.  Every week has to start somewhere and it may as well be Monday.  I’ll suck it up if you will.